Once upon a time, there was an intense rivalry between the “Twin Cities” of Minneapolis and St. Paul. It seems to me that the hard feelings have given way to an all-around attitude of “Minnesota Nice” (a phrase that makes me cringe every time I hear it) rather than intense competition between neighboring towns. So, being the instigator that I am, I’m trying to bring back those hard feelings and stir the pot a bit. Because, let’s be honest here, who doesn’t love a good rivalry? Let’s break this down and determine once and for all which city is the “ugly sister”.
Bodies of Water
People love living near the water, so let’s not pretend that this doesn’t matter. Both cities have the Mississippi river flowing through them, but Minneapolis highlights the river so much better with St. Anthony Falls, the Stone Arch Bridge, and Nicollet Island. Just compare these google image searches and see for yourself: Minneapolis St. Paul. Throw in the fact that Minneapolis has all of those lakes (Calhoun, Harriet, Nokomis, etc.) and this is an easy call. Edge: Minneapolis
The pictures say it for me. Edge: Minneapolis
Had to look up St. Paul’s nicknames since they’re so obscure and lame.
“The Capitol City”, “The Saintly City”, “Pig’s Eye”, “The Silver City”, and “STP”
vs. “City of Lakes”, “Mill City”, “Murderapolis”
I’ll take the City of Lakes all day. Edge: Mill City
Both are pretty weak as far as city flags go, but the Minneapolis one looks like it was submitted by a 5th grader who won a contest or something. Edge: St. Paul
For concert/theater venues, Minneapolis has the Orpheum, the Guthrie, First Avenue, Acme Comedy Club and even Northrop Auditorium. I honestly didn’t even know what St. Paul had so I googled it and got the Schubert Club? Ordway Center for the Performing Arts? Never heard of these places, so I’d say Minneapolis is winning again. Other forms of entertainment include museums, which I guess St. Paul would win since they have the Science Museum of Minnesota, and St. Paul also gets to host the State Fair each year, which in my opinion is really a minus since I think it’s an abomination. Dining is where I’m really out of my league since my idea of eating out is either fast food or a sports bar, but I’ll give a tip of the cap to St. Paul for the Nook, which is my favorite burger spot in the Twin Cities. Nightlife, however, is where Minneapolis wins this category. Unless you go to school at Hamline, Concordia, St. Thomas or Macalester, why on earth would you ever go out on the town in St. Paul? There’s only one weekend a year that anybody goes to St. Paul and that’s for St. Patrick’s Day since it’s the more Irish town. Downtown St. Paul is weak, and then you have a couple decent bars on Grand Avenue and that’s about it. Meanwhile Minneapolis has Dinkytown, Downtown, Uptown and Northeast for areas to go bar-hopping, each one with its own unique experience. Edge: Minneapolis
Minneapolis has the Foshay Tower, the Weisman Art Museum, the Basilica of St. Mary, and some decent skyscrapers, but I’m finally going to give St. Paul the nod on pretty much two buildings alone: the St. Paul Cathedral and the Minnesota State Capitol. I’m not a huge Minnesota pride guy, but if you’re not impressed by our state capitol you’re a fraud. Edge: St. Paul by a hair.
Obviously what matters most in how you value a city is its sports scene, which again, is bad news for our neighbors to the east. They’ve got an awesome venue in the Xcel Energy Center, which not only hosts the NHL’s Wild but also the state high school hockey tournament, and very often college hockey action, but that’s about it. I guess you can throw in the St. Paul Saints if you’re into minor league baseball, but let’s compare that meager sports lineup to the murderer’s row that Minneapolis is rolling with. Target Center hosts the Timberwolves, Target Field hosts the Twins, and very soon the Vikings will be playing in a shiny new stadium in the east part of downtown. Not to mention Mariucci Arena, Williams Arena, and TCF Bank Stadium are all in Minneapolis bringing you Big Ten action in the U of M’s 3 biggest sports. Stop the fight, it’s getting ugly. Edge: Minneapolis in a rout.
So thanks to my completely unbiased, fair comparison, it’s quite obvious which is the superior Twin City, which of course is why your favorite blogger makes Minneapolis his home. But despite my evaluation, I want to hear it from you. In the words of Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, “anybody who wants to be a can’t hack it pantywaist, who wears their mama’s bra” can vote for St. Paul, while me and the Jet will be stealing home and rolling with Minneapolis.